Dissociation (poem)

 

I see myself, and I see myself seeing myself; trapped in an infinite regress.

Triggered.

I don’t know what I am, other than that I am the ‘other’.

Separated.

I sit in the eye of the storm, enjoying the false calm.

Rumination.

Picking the poison to escape my mind; my father’s curse, passed down to me.

Stoned.

I should lean towards hope, look to the light.

Futility.

These words have no meaning, as I am incapable of giving them any.

Numb.

No happy ending, no fresh beginning; just nothingness.

Life.

10/07/19

Authors Note: Dissociation is one of the symptoms of past trauma. It is a defence mechanism designed to keep you safe. Unfortunately, it can get out of hand, over-reacting and operating at times of calmness, peace and safety. I am grateful for my dissociation for keeping me safe, but I would like to let it know that I am okay now. That I no longer am in a place that needs it support.