At Least You Are Paid Well

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At Least You Are Paid Well

Rolling hills of green pine sway softly in the wind. The sun, high in the sky, is casting its golden gaze upon your bare chest. You lay there, basking in the warmth, content. A calm trickling sound catches your attention. Your gaze falls lazily upon the crystal clear water of a small flowing river beside you. You could spend an eternity here ...

“Beep, Beep, Beep.”

Every morning you are in a rush. Cringing at the shrill alarm, you relish the warmth for another second. The sheets are hugging you, the bed is soft. It is almost pleading with you to stay.

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Billson’s Best

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Billson’s Best

The following quotes were found attached to a board under Jones’ desk, following an Occupational Health and Safety review to ensure compliance with the company’s policy on the safe use of storage areas. Since discovery, both Billson and Jones have been placed on administrative leave pending review.

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Are You A Wage Slave?

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Are You A Wage Slave?

As children we can’t help but dream of all of the amazing things that we will accomplish.

What we will do, the places we will see and the people we will meet.

Then life happens.

We get a job, we get a house, and we get into debt. We get used to the level of luxury that we can afford, and then define ourselves by our incomes, positions and possessions.

We settle.

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Appropriate Workplace Conversation and Etiquette - Report Excerpts

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Appropriate Workplace Conversation and Etiquette - Report Excerpts

“… primarily, all employees should aim to converse only in a manner that is topical to their particular fields of work, as well as its related tasks and topics. This will ensure that all conversation remains politically correct, non-discriminatory and *victimless …”

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Human Resources #3

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Human Resources #3

“Really Billson? Cannibalism? You are clearly a hungry man, but don’t you think this is a bit much?” Jones said, raising his eyes to meet Billson’s.

Billson quickly looked away and bit down harder on his lip. This time drawing some blood. Instinctively he attempted to swallow it, but was once again denied this basic reflex.

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Human Resources #2

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Human Resources #2

Taking another quick glance at the man taking up two of his waiting room chairs, Jones had the sudden realisation that Billson must be a terribly anxious man.

“This isn’t the first time you have had to have one of these talks, right?” said Jones as he was opening Billson’s file.

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Human Resources #1

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Human Resources #1

It was time. Billson had been dreading this moment all week. Jones from Human Resources had demanded a meeting to discuss ‘a matter of great importance’. No elaboration given, just a date, a time and a room number.

Billson knew what it related to, but couldn’t quite grasp what the big deal was. He always spoke this way, always joked this way, and the people laughed. True, he wasn’t always sure if it was with him or at him, but that didn’t matter, it was getting the laughs that counted.

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More Of The Same

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More Of The Same

This day, like the last, will be the same. Arrive at the same time, wear the same clothes, do the same work. The conversations will be the same, the jokes the same, even the ‘unexpected problems’ will be the same. Monotonous repetition. Day in, day out.

If this was a work of fiction, here is where the story would begin to deviate from the norm. An event would occur to start the story rolling. A catalyst would present itself…

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Venus Fly Trap

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Venus Fly Trap

Sighing, Johnson sat down for what felt like the millionth time and began to fiddle with the plastic plant that was situated neatly in the corner of his desk. Another generic faux fern, identical in every way to the faux ferns that were to be found on most of the other desks on the floor.

A blowfly lazily buzzed past one ear and then around past the other. Circling his head like a passenger jet waiting for approval to approach the runway for a final descent.

“Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.” …

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