In The End, It Doesn’t Even Matter

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In The End, It Doesn’t Even Matter

“Hey Siri, play Hybrid Theory by Linkin Park.”

I loved that album. Perfectly mixing the clash of drums, distorted guitars, and iconic new metal disc scratching, all overlayed with a vocal combination of rap, rock, and a touch of screamo. But the lyrics, they were something else entirely. It felt like they were pulled straight from my mind. Perfectly expressing the confusing feelings of rage, fear, dissociation, suicidal ideation and anger I felt. Anger I directed at myself and the anger I directed at the world.

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Why Artistic Expression Is A Mental Health Must

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Why Artistic Expression Is A Mental Health Must

It wasn’t until I tried writing that I saw major improvements as a direct result of treatment.

Unlike talking therapy, I found that I could express myself far more freely onto a blank page. When I sat down to write, I didn’t have to worry about what the page thought of me. It can’t judge. I could ramble, reiterate and back track without concern for transmitting understanding to someone else.

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Frozen In Time - The Life Long Impact Of Trauma

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Frozen In Time - The Life Long Impact Of Trauma

Somewhere along the line I lost contact with myself. Trauma froze me in time. This made me withdraw from people.

Connection now scares me.

Being thus frozen, my way of looking at the world, from a relationship perspective also froze. At the time of the freeze I was young. At that age, socialising is often facilitated by the adults for the child, it’s rarely done directly.

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