God Asked

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God asked the man,
Why did you choose to die?
I saw no point in existence,
I couldn’t fathom a reason why.

I couldn’t stay focused,
I couldn’t hold down work.
I’d just wait for the day to end,
to sleep away the murk.

Every day was the same,
I’d already lived it through.
What was the point of repeating
when there wasn’t anything new?

What about the small changes,
the gems of love and life?
What about the lessons learnt
from surviving hardships and strife?

True, I did feel most alive
when things were at their worst.
But how is that reason to live,
just hoping to be cursed?

I could handle the drama
but not the monotony,
nor the vagueness of existence,
nor humanity’s cacophony.

I would sit alone,
I would sit in the dark,
I would sit and listen and
my mind would remark.

Highlighting my failures,
reminding me of lost dreams.
Showing me bad outcomes
and my own devilish schemes.

Where were you God,
when I needed you the most?
Why’d you only start talking
now that I am a ghost?

I was talking the whole time.
I was in the warmth of the sun,
I was in your kid’s smiles,
their laughter and fun.

I was the crash of the waves,
the vision of the moon,
the spring flower’s scent,
the young lover’s boon.

I was the quenching of thirst,
the purr of a kitten,
the pillow at night,
the book well written.

I could go on
but I think you now know,
I was with you always,
even when you were low.

Ah God, you don’t get it,
your words were too easy to miss.
What with all the noise,
with our collective descent into the abyss.

How could I just stop and look?
How could I listen to the bird’s song?
How could I take a breath,
When everything was going wrong?

It isn’t my place to save you,
nor can I fix your life.
I can only remind you,
that there is something beyond the strife.

That even in the midst of suffering
there are small joys to behold.
But you are right my child,
perhaps I should have been more bold.

No God, I was also wrong.
You know this was my last thought,
I could fix every problem but this one.
Oh how my family will be distraught.

God thought for a moment,
then asked the man,
If I sent you back to Earth
would you change your plan?

I will do my best,
but I make no guarantee.
I will attempt to listen,
I will attempt to see.