I recently returned from a men’s work retreat through the Island of Men: a transformative program designed to help men connect and heal.

I left with two main takeaways.

1: There is a tremendous male loneliness and meaning epidemic. Men feel alone and unsure of what they are doing, why they are doing it, and feel like they have no one to talk it through with.

2: There is vulnerability within positivity and success.

I was asked about my purpose and realized that I was already living it (a journey over destination kind of thing), and I chose to do an improve comedy workshop over the deep introspective darkness exploration and healing that I would usually explore.

Why? Because doing so felt more expansive (scary) than not. I realized I am more than fine to share my pain and shadow, but not my light.

This was revolutionary. I now realise that I need to explore and express all aspects of myself.

Reminder: You are invited to join the December Self-Care challenge in the Art of Self-Connection community. Lets stay sane this festive season!

Usually around this time of year I talk about the pain that this time of year can bring: extra commitments, financial burden, overwhelm, and forced socialization.

This year I am looking to actually make something positive come from the festive season, so I am inviting you to join in with a self care challenge.

For the month of December, pick one small act of self-care you can do every day to stay grounded and regulated. Something that feels nourishing, simple, and doable.

eg:

• Music

• Reading

• Take a bath

• Meditation

• Nature walk

• Exercise

• Cup of tea

• Journaling

Or choose something you’ll cut back on this month to ease the pressure.

When you’ve chosen your practice, join The Art Of Self-Connection Community (it’s free) and share what you will be working on and why.

Lets stay sane this festive season!

Language is flawed, and it keeps us from touching the divine.

Every time we try to communicate, we start with a felt sense (thoughts, emotions, sensations) and we’re forced to translate that into code. Words. Sounds. Symbols. Then we hope the signal survives the noise. That nothing gets lost through misunderstanding, projection, or the limits of whatever medium we’re using…

There’s a barrier between us.

A barrier built from platforms and algorithms, each one acting as a simulacrum that promises connection and depth, but really only offers shallow engagement.

Even this podcast is limited…

The four principles of how to live in harmony to: move slowly, breathe deeply, and focus broadly, with compassion for all.

In this short talk, I introduce these principles as a gentle form of guidance towards inner peace. When combined and embodied we they help us to begin to connect, both to our true self and to the world and all in it…

When faced with extreme and overwhelming situations we do whatever we can to survive. Typically this involves one of four responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.

If this approach to stress works, we survive. Good in the moment, but often that survival comes at a cost. Unless we are able to appropriately process the event, both mentally, spiritually, physically, and socially, we may begin to generalize our fight, flight, freeze, and fawn response into a way to approach all aspects of life.

This is not ideal because these survival mechanisms are not always appropriate for what is arising in the moment. But because it worked in the past, because it kept us alive, we default into using them again and again and again, even when they are now clearly maladaptive and causing more harm than good…

It’s all too easy to let fear stop us from acting when it matters most. Not just in the big, cinematic moments of bravery, but in the small, everyday chances for connection and emotional release. There is a saying that goes, ‘fear is temporary, regret is forever,’ and it rings painfully true.

In this short talk, I share four moments from my past that I regret, offered in the hope that they inspire you to take the actions you need, so you don’t carry unnecessary regrets of your own…

Truth is beyond words alone. At best, language is a flawed code, an attempt to translate physical sensations, mental states, and spiritual experiences into something shareable. Yet in doing so, it often distorts what it tries to reveal…