Finding Safety in Safe Words

Finding Safety in Safe Words

Terms like sapiosexual, demisexual, pansexual, get thrown around a lot, and I’ve always wondered where I fit on the spectrum. A review of my past partners, and passed attractions, reveals something interesting to me. I don’t really have one type.

Whilst I have certain preferences and prefer to connect over intelligence/humour/personality/drive. One trait above all seems to rule out everything else. I’m attracted to clarity….

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Why Porn Is Cheating, But Sex With A Side Piece Isn't

Why Porn Is Cheating, But Sex With A Side Piece Isn't

Fallacious title, but go with me for a moment. What does it mean to ‘cheat’ on your partner? Can you actually define where that line is, or is there some ambiguous knowing that will occur that will somehow inform you when it happens?

Let me ask you some questions….

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Death

Death

Despite everything that happened, I loved my father and still do. To this day my biggest regret is not connecting with him more. I do not forgive him for what he put my brother and me through, but I regret not trying to get to know him on a deeper level, particularly as an adult. When I talk about my childhood, people always say something along the lines of:

“But you were just a child and he was the adult. He should have done more; it was his fault that your relationship fell apart.”

Yes, he was the adult and I was the child. But that truth does not change my role and my actions towards him. I still made the choice to limit contact. I still made the choice to become emotionally distant. I still made the choice to stop seeing him altogether for years. Despite all that he was and all that he did, I still played a role in our relationship, or lack thereof.

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