I Cannot Pretend
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poems about the intersection between neurodivergence and trauma…
Read MoreIf You Get Too Close
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If you get too close, I’ll pull away
If you talk too kindly, I won’t stay
If you push too hard, I’ll say no
If you stay too long, I’ll just go
If you try too hard, I’ll soon leave
If you enquire too personally, I’ll simply deceive
But…`
Thoughts Intrude
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Dissociation is a defence mechanism to complex trauma. In order to survive you block off aspects of your reality that are to confronting to deal with.
Dissociation becomes a habit, making the world feel shallow and unreal. Not only are the negative moments blocked off, but so are the positive.
You just exist in emptiness, with the occasional thought intruding. These thoughts, the ones that get through the dissociation, are raw and powerful and often so overwhelming they cause you to withdraw further.
These thoughts, even the good ones, are triggering. Their force, their power and the associated emotionality is simply too much to handle.
