How Do I Explain This Feeling?

How do I explain this feeling?
The one that comes unwilling,
The kind that divides my mind,
And puts my words into a bind?

How do I explain this feeling?
The one that sends me reeling,
The kind that crushes my hope,
And leads me straight to dope?

How do I explain this feeling?
The one that is not appealing,
The kind that drags on all night,
And makes my personalities fight?

How do I explain this feeling?
The one that wants concealing,
The kind that highlights my shame,
And forces me to take the blame?

How do I explain this feeling?
The one that reminds me of squealing,
The kind that is on repeat,
And reminds me of my defeat?

How do I explain this feeling?
The one that leaves me milling,
The kind that takes away my aim,
And leaves my full of pain?

How do I explain this feeling?

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This poem is from the book Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly