I Am A Contradiction

I am a contradiction,
A social inadequacy.
Stifled rage.
Missed opportunities.
Goals unfulfilled.
Talent unrecognised,
Talent wasted.

I am a contradiction,
A falsifiable hypothesis.
All talk.
No action.
An echo chamber.
Hypocrisy recognised,
Hypocrisy shared.

I am a contradiction,
A functional mess.
Habit forming.
Constant apologies.
A shell of shame.
Surviving the past,
Surviving the day.

I am a contradiction,
A product of chance.
Lucky guesses taken.
Sage words heard.
A creature of my environment.
Adapting to conform,
Adapting to escape.

I am a contradiction,
A point of difference.
Memories informing.
Self-educating.
Future planning.
Breaking the cycle,
Breaking myself.

I am a contradiction,
A model of possibility.
Disciplined action.
Introverted contemplation.
A father.
Driven to change,
Driven to act.

I am a contradiction,
A self-appointed leader.
Lived experience.
Proven results.
Trending upwards.
Sharing my failures,
Sharing lessons learnt.

I am a contradiction,
A hypocrite with a voice.
Soul on display.
Hunting an ideal.
Coming up short.
Finding myself,
Finding my tribe.

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This poem is from the book Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly

Lickety-Split

I wanna quit
I’m just not with it
Feeling like shit
Feeling like a misfit
An unfit and unlit hypocrite
In need of a refit

No longer with the energy to commit
Unable to continue sharing my wit
Unable to continue to submit
Unable to fulfil his holy writ

A social counterfeit
A fool with his brain split
Someone who’s no longer legit

Some kinda halfwit
Rolling without a permit
In need of a babysit

I’m unfit
An empty tool kit
A horse without its bit
A victim that’s gaslit
A plane without a cockpit
A radio with nothing to transmit

Guilt that’s impossible to acquit
Pain that I can no longer omit

Not without a wrist slit

Not without a friend to get close-knit
Someone that allows me to admit
All of my turmoil and bullshit
Someone with the necessary grit
To make the darkness sunlit
Someone that won’t just split
The moment I fall into a pit

If that’s you, please send help, lickety-split

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This poem is from the book Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly