Panic Attack
You know what’s worse
Than feeling completely overwhelmed
By the mundanity of normal life?
The shame
The knowing
That I
Now must
Make plans to cope
With things most others thoughtlessly navigate
The knowing
That I
Now must
Choose between
The embarrassment of bailing
Or the embarrassment of failing
The knowing
That I
Now must
Accept
The fact that I am limited
That my desires will forever outstrip my capacity
All in order to survive
A crowd
A noise
A smell
A look
A word
A touch
A thought
Yes
Even a thought
My mind
In its infinite wisdom
Sometimes views the thoughts it itself creates
As so dangerous to its own existence
That it deems it appropriate
To shut itself down
The shame
The isolation
The confusion
The loneliness
The limitation
The fear
The inevitability
The holding back
The rumination
The depression
The shame
This poem is from the book A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken
