me at 36

i’m 36
crying and triggered
remembering when i was 8
remembering my stepfather
remembering the warnings that went unheard
remembering the pleas for help went unanswered
remembering the fear
remembering the confusion
remembering the choice to force myself to forget

remembering
crying
writing

remembering
crying
and writing more

desperately hoping that all this is somehow also healing

it’s my birthday and my family are watching me breakdown
i am stoned on weed
valium
memory
and music

tears
my ink

pain
my pen

words
my voice

… it’s time to blow out the candles and make a wish
perhaps i’ll live to wish another …

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This poem is from the book Poetry from a Dark Night of the Soul

Holy Herb

holy herb
smoking verb
words said
brains undead
verbal loop
lyrical soup
sounds dope
words rope
hang you
bang you
fucking harangue you
now three words
these bee words
killer sting words
from my insobriety
of natural variety
green leaf society
you’re invited
i’ve co-signed it
authorised it
legalised it
for your consumption
make no assumption
join the rambunction
take actions
form fractions
fight back
talk smack
to the authorities
for breaking minorities
for setting up monopolies
it’s all for profit see?
or a prophesy
all hypocrisy
so break free
and join me
for a session
a brain compression
a synonym lesson
from the brain thesaurus
word tyrannosaurus
sorry T-Rex
yes small text
make it simple
you mental cripple
tweak your nipple
but you like it
pacify it
deny it
crucify it
hide behind it
defend it
your delusions
internal confusions
brain washed pollutions
but there’s a way out
the organic blackout
just one toke
get woke
get distributed
get herbed
get bent
on my content
on my knowledge
so pay homage
to the rhyme designator
thought penetrator
neuronal stimulator
revolution instigator
so speak clearly
beat them physically
i mean violence
broken silence
no compliance
total defiance
to their bullshit
this the new shit
the make the news shit
just commit
to revolution
the anarchist solution

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This poem is from the book Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly