me at 36

 

i’m 36
crying and triggered
remembering when i was 8
remembering my stepfather
remembering the warnings that went unheard
remembering the pleas for help went unanswered
remembering the fear
remembering the confusion
remembering the choice to force myself to forget

remembering
crying
writing

remembering
crying
and writing more

desperately hoping that all this is somehow also healing

it’s my birthday and my family are watching me breakdown
i am stoned on weed
valium
memory
and music

tears
my ink

pain
my pen

words
my voice

… it’s time to blow out the candles and make a wish
perhaps i’ll live to wish another …


This poem is from the book Poetry from a Dark Night of the Soul

 
Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a counselor, coach, meditation instructor, author, and poet. He helps entrepreneurs, spiritualists, and survivors identify and release the limiting beliefs that no longer serve. With compassion and insight, he supports them as they navigate dark nights of the soul and find peace, guiding them from surviving to passionately thriving using tips, tools, and techniques that enable them to process the past, accept the present, and embrace the future with positivity and purpose. Zachary is also a qualified teacher, personal trainer, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counseling.

https://www.zachary-phillips.com
Previous
Previous

This Day Is About To End

Next
Next

Do You Love Me, Or Just The Idea Of Me?