blessed with life's baggage

contemplating suicide
is a luxury
i can no longer afford

i am blessed
with life’s baggage
weighed down by love

spurred
by the desire
to prove them wrong

cajoled into action
my inner voice
softly screaming

to be more
than a footnote
of failure

to act
in-spite of doubt
and fear of judgement

to resolve
to do everything
to ensure my legacy

when I die
i will die
having truly lived

---

This poem is from the book A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken

Lifeblood

Not yet dead
The demon
Writhes
On the page

Lacerated
By the light of attention
It stares
Horrified

As it’s lifeblood
Becomes the ink
Of its own
Eulogy

---

This poem is from the book A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken

monkey mind

monkey mind
a brain confined
trapped by the past
by conditioning
by words left unsaid
by a childhood unseen
by what could have been

don’t you see
little monkey
you are free

just let go
just move
just step to the side

because though your cage
seems all encompassing
it is just an illusion
one that can be broken

by you
connecting with others

by you
in harmony
with a group
holding space
holding your body
guiding you
to break the cage
you confined yourself to

way back when
you needed such protection
just to survive

but now dear monkey
it’s time to thrive
you are safe
and free
if you choose yourself to be

---

This poem is from the book Poetry from a Dark Night of the Soul

Uncontainable By The Bondage Of Words

Uncontainable
By the bondage
Of words
Its nature
Is unexplainable

Nameless
And
Formless
Yet more whole than
The even most perfect
Analogy can imply

To say it acts
Is a lie
To say it is
Is a lie
Even to call it ‘it’
Is a lie

Yet it acts
As it is
And as it does
In its way

Unfathomable
And unknowable
To everything
Other than itself
This
Despite its
Impact being
Forever felt
By everything

Or
perhaps not
As its very nature
Invalidates these words
As well as your interpretation of them

---

This poem is from the book A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken

Suffering Without Hope

One day I will wake
To find you hanging
Above a letter

I won’t need to read it
I already know why

You tell me daily

Different words
Same truth

Suffering without hope

I find myself
Silently mourning
A death
That’s yet to happen

Unable to stop
The inevitability
Of your choice
Despite knowing
You are making it

I should do more
But there’s nothing more I can do

Other than wait

---

This poem is from the book A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken

Stupefied

I sit
Stupefied
Seeking solace
From shame

The silence
Is no longer safe
Secrets seep
From the shadow

Slowly I find myself
Surrounded
My sanity siphoned
Into stillness

---

This poem is from the book A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken

I’ve Sold You My Soul

With this book
I’ve sold you my soul
Put myself on display
Showing you my whole

Here
Do you see the hole?
What was left
After my father’s toll
A prostitution of pain
A sympathy payroll

Here
Do you see the hole?
What was left
After her thoughtless console
A pitiful attempt
To reclaim what he stole

I wrote this for me
There’s no other goal
Love it or hate it
Fuck you all

No
Not you dear reader
Just those close to me
Those who chose to troll
Those who attempted to control
Those who don’t know me at all

No
For you I extol
The healing granted
By planting the flag pole
Open your mind to gaze upon your soul
Write
Take back control
Step through the keyhole
Put it on the page
And remake yourself
Into a stronger whole

---

This poem is from the book A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken

maybe

maybe i’m not shy
or introverted
or defective
or broken
or any of the other put downs
my mind likes to offer up

maybe
just maybe
i am exactly who i needed to be
to survive

cautious
careful
considerate

maybe i learnt
to look before i leap
to consider all possibilities
to be sure before allowing myself to relax

maybe that negative voice
only speaks of the version of me
that has his guard up

maybe
just maybe
if you get to know me
if you wait long enough
if you earn my trust

maybe then
i’ll let you in

maybe then
you will see
who i really am

---

This poem is from the book Poetry from a Dark Night of the Soul

pathology and perversion

let’s go on an excursion
exploring pathology and perversion
where promises conflict with perception
and pleasure is found in aversion
where a moment can stretch into an eon
and an lifetime can vanish into confusion
where attention can dispel the illusion
and uncover the collective delusion
of a world desperate for absolution
yet unable or willing to find a solution
one where corruption and corporate collusion
trump harmony and empathetic inclusion
and the blind acceptance of institution
enables the systematic prosecution
of most every creature of evolution
distracted from their inevitable revolution
by the promise of a shiny substitution
via advertisements of unsustainable consumption
coupled with subliminal thought intrusion
money exchanged for species execution
accept the norm and practice blame diffusion
only to pray as final resolution
desperately hoping to avoid karmic retribution

---

This poem is inspired by the book How To Write Evocative Poetry

To Purchase The Moon

I sacrificed the sun
To purchase the moon
Working hard
From dusk to noon

But all you see
Is me locked away
Stuck in my room
Unable to play

I’m trading my time
For you to live
It’s the only thing
I’m able to give

I’m so sorry son
I know you need more
You need more of me
Of that I’m sure

I hate how this world
Forces us apart
I long for the days
I could apprentice you to my art

But that would just be
A different kind of pain
What if you didn’t want
To work in my same vein?

Thus my attempt
To lift you high as I can
I want you to become
A fulfilled and happy man

There is no right answer
Beyond a cry and a shrug
Other than to read you a nightly story
And depart with a hug

Just know I’m always thinking
Of you and your brother
I love you both
You two and your mother

---

This poem is from the book Wage Slave, The Unpaid Overtime Edition

a sentence without grammar

i feel like a sentence
without grammar

perfectly legible
yet nonetheless
fundamentally lacking
something
everyone else seems
to have

i feel like a poem
that lacks a rhyme

capable
of functioning
to a high degree
yet nevertheless
unappealing
to the masses

i feel like a story
that was left unfinished

interesting
but ultimately…

---

---

This poem is from the book Poetry from a Dark Night of the Soul

Work Life Balance

Attempting to balance
Work and life
Just seems like another job
I don’t have time
To complete

---

This poem is from the book Wage Slave, The Unpaid Overtime Edition

Trapped & Alone

Of course you feel so trapped and alone
It’s the only life you’ve ever known
It’s impossible to see what you’ve never been shown
Impossible to think when your life’s on loan
Forced to become what you should’ve outgrown
No true role model other than those
In your home
The actions taken now your future will atone
Already you are regretting the seeds you have sown
Already you are wondering if your mind is your own
Acutely aware of how you act the drone
Just another hapless soul addicted to their phone
Just another underpaid overworked useless clone
You know it’s not enough just to sit and bemoan
Your slavery to capitalism or how the algorithm has you prone
Or how you waste everyday dreaming of the unknown
Losing yourself in the fantasies you’ll forever postpone
Following the leaders you should have overthrown
Following the narrative spoken in that safe monotone
How easy it is to comply to accept and condone
To just go on feeling trapped and alone

---

This poem is from the book Wage Slave, The Unpaid Overtime Edition

A Rut

A scratch
Turns into a groove
Which becomes a rut
A guide for life
Learnt
So early
That the learning itself
Is forgotten
Just the path remains
A cycle
Of eternity
Stretching forward and backward
Towards infinity
Escape is possible
Only for those
Willing
To give up
Everything they ever knew
And every way
They learnt to know it

---

This poem is from the book Wage Slave, The Unpaid Overtime Edition

spilled ink

spilled ink
words to make you think
words to drink
words to talk you back from the brink
words written to your shrink
it’s okay
i too am out of sync
struggling with the the link
between my kink
and those who chose to hoodwink
clearly i need to rethink
cause life is over in a blink
and i’ve got no more time for their stink

---

---

This poem is from the book Poetry from a Dark Night of the Soul

un-actioned decisions

a man walks
blindfolded and alone
desperately searching for meaning

finding nothing
he cries
and clings to his own broken form

the remnants
of a series of an un-actioned decisions
the only identity left to embrace

nonetheless he smiles
unable to hide the irony
that only now does he finally feel safe

---

About:
The ‘un-actioned decision,’ a concept introduced by a friend to highlight those choices we are forced into making by circumstance, affliction, or fate.

Decisions we can never quite sit with and thus cause friction, pain, resentment, and profound loneliness.

This poem is my attempt at capturing and expressing those emotions that come with walking up to a life where you are now living in the consequences of those un-actioned decisions, and thus are fundamentally not happy and have to fix things from such a state of brokenness.

---

This poem is inspired by the book How To Write Evocative Poetry

nightmare

the toxic nightmare
the dream that traps you into believing you’re awake
that lets you live your fantasy for just long enough to taste heaven
but not long enough to be satiated
before you are wretched back into reality
by a chiding laugh laced with criticism
for being so gullible as to believe you deserve happiness
let alone a beautiful dream

---

This poem is from the book Poetry from a Dark Night of the Soul

Candle

I’d like to be able to claim
That none can hold a candle
To your brilliance
But the truth is
They are but mere candles
Before you

Their light
Only blinding
Against darkness
Only blinding
In your absence

---

This poem is from the book A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken

Once More

Once more
I wake
Finding myself adrift
Lost in thoughts
Of things
That will never happen
That can never happen

An ocean of possibility
Extends in every direction
Yet I fear
Leaving the safety
Of the anchor
Of the known

Once more
I wake
Finding myself both
Aimlessly drifting and unequivocally struck
Chastising myself
For not staying still
For not moving on

---

This poem is from the book A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken

Not Safe

It’s not safe
For me to be alone
But it’s not pleasant
To be in my company

So how can I
Ask for you
To waste this day
Comforting me?

---

This poem is from the book A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken