Stuck Inside My Mind
/i feel stuck inside my brain
the anxiety is gone
but the pain still remains
my childhood on repeat
embodying the shame…
i feel stuck inside my brain
the anxiety is gone
but the pain still remains
my childhood on repeat
embodying the shame…
I’m not feeling good today,
All good feelings gone away,
I don’t think I’ve the energy to play,
All I can do is sit and say:
That,
Words flow through my mind in verses, like curses that highlight the evidence for the nurses writing obituaries for those travelling in hearses…
How do I explain this feeling?
The one that comes unwilling,
The kind that divides my mind,
And puts my words into a bind?
How do I explain this feeling?
The one that sends me reeling,
The kind that crushes my hope,
And leads me straight to dope?…
I was trying to represent both the suffering that we feel in response to trauma/triggers/BPD, combined with the seemingly selfish way we can at times take it out on those closest to us.
The ‘I’ in this story, even while repentant/sorrowful is still focused on it-self.
Yes there is suffering, but that suffering isn’t a justification to take it out on the innocent people that love us.
I also wanted to highlight the absolute overwhelm of emotions that trauma can cause. The spiral into darkness and the inevitable relationship breakdowns that result from such outbursts.
It takes a patient and empathetic person to tolerate that.
This is shadow work with a twist.
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