The Poetic Power of Closure
- A chapter from How To Write Evocative Poetry -
There is a nice feeling of closure that can arise when you end a poem by bringing the reader back to the beginning – this is a common factor in short fiction writing that can also be used to enhance your poetry. This could be accomplished by repeating a core word, rhyme, theme, or symbol. If the poem takes them on a journey, then returning to the beginning acts as a compelling example of contrast. Alternatively, you can tie the loop showing no changes to emphasise the static nature of the emotions or situation of the poem.
In Do You Love Me, Or Just The Idea Of Me, I open with the concept of a ‘dream girl’ and end with ‘…unless of course, they’re just a dream’. I further add to the symbolism with mentions of ‘reality’, ‘fantasy’, and ‘open your eyes’. Combined, this ‘tying of the loop’ brings the reader back to the beginning of the poem giving them a feeling of catharsis and completion because they have found themselves back at the beginning – or something like it.
Do You Love Me, Or Just The Idea Of Me?
Do you love me,
Or just the idea of me?I may be your ‘dream girl’
But I am real,
And that reality is different
From your fantasy.How often must we fight,
Just to clarify
That you expected
Me to speak differently?How many tears must fall,
Just to realise
That you expected
Me to be something I’m not?If you love me,
Please drop your expectations
And open your eyes
To the real me.My body has blemishes.
I will lose my temper.
I judge unfairly.
I get things wrong.I am not perfect,
No one is.
Unless of course,
They’re just a dream.
I demonstrate a simple tying of the loop in Sorry My Boy by making the last line reference the reframe, as well as flipping the theme of being too busy on its head with the boy now rejecting the father.
Sorry My Boy
Sorry my boy
I’ve got something to do
And unfortunately
It doesn’t involve youSorry my boy
I don’t have the time to chat
I’m too busy
But you know thatSorry my boy
I can’t play right now
There is too much on
I’ve done as much as my schedule will allowHey my boy
I’m finally free
Want to hang out
Just you and me?Sorry my dad
I’ve got too much on
With my work and my mates
My time’s all gone
In very few words, Work Life Balance it tells a story that neatly circles back upon itself.
Work Life Balance
Attempting to balance
Work and life
Just seems like another job
I don’t have time
To complete
Swallow The Poison touches upon a similar theme to Work Life Balance but employs the ABAB rhyme structure, as well as using its length to tell a story. The last stanza directly ties the loop with a rephrasing of the first. The poem also references earlier parts of itself throughout the piece, leading to a powerful and coherent delivery of the core theme and message.
Swallow The Poison
Swallow the poison
Trade your day
Time for money
Life’s wasting awayWork to live
Not to thrive
It’s all you can do
Just to surviveTake a moment
Look around
This is your life
What have you found?Your kids are old
Your friends are gone
Your dreams are unmet
But you can’t move onYou earn just enough
To cover the bills
You know what would happen
If you took illYou’d lose your job
And then the house
Then the car
Then the spouseSo every day
No matter what
You swallow your poison
The only hope you’ve gotTo earn enough
To survive the night
And do it all again
The daily fightNot quite the fairy tale
You were promised in youth
But let’s be honest
No-one could accept the truthIt’s the daily grind
Called that for a reason
To hope for other wise
Is demonised as treasonWe are in this together
The workers plea
Collective repression
Then distracted depravityWork for the weekend
Then pay to play
Porn, liquor, and drugs
Then some takeawayIt’s not in your budget
But you convince yourself it’s okay
Cause it’s all you can do
To survive another workdayDon’t think of the future
It’s far to long
30 years more of this
What could possibly go wrong?But hey!
Doesn’t retirement actually seem good?
Finally you have the time needed
To do everything you wish you now couldSo you delay gratification
Of most every form of joy
Problem is you’ll be too old by then
To enjoy it anywayStill you delude yourself
It’s part of the poison
Swallowing your dreams
Then acting with cautionBesides those weekend benders
Leave you with little spare wealth
With little motivation
With diminishing healthYou sometimes wonder
How you ended up here
Overwhelmed by resentment
You crack another beer‘It is what it is’
‘Inflation is high’
‘It’s capitalisms fault’
To yourself you justifyThere goes the weekend
It’s time for another dose
Off to work again
Hunting that promotion grandioseA different brand of poison
A variation of the old promise
You’ll get paid far more
Cause you’re no longer a noviceIn your new role
You think you will finally be free
Until it dawns on you
All that extra responsibilityEven less time
For those that you love
For the friends you don’t see
For all the hobbies you let go ofBut what other choice
Could you realistically pursue?
If you changed path now
Only chaos would ensueSo you swallow the poison
You trade your day
Exchanging time for money
Letting your life waste away
Unlike art, life is full of loose ends and unanswered questions. Think of everyone you have ever known and consider how many questions you still have. True, you might ‘not care’ in the grand scheme of things, but you cannot deny that knowing those answers would add something to your life. Perhaps it isn’t important enough to actively pursue the answers to, but you wouldn’t say no to knowing – this is why gossip is so intriguing by the way. The good news is that you can answer those questions for your readers and some poems will benefit from doing so. They will feel more complete, more ‘right’. Similarly, if you return to the same themes, the poem will feel more internally consistent – this is important as it makes the entire piece feel like it belongs with itself.
Summary
Tying the loop makes your whole piece feel internally consistent – returning back to elements of symbolism, word choice, story, or rhyme can feel better for the reader.
This chapter is from the book How To Write Evocative Poetry
