The Art of Showing, the Power of Telling
- A chapter from How To Write Evocative Poetry -
Probably the most clichéd and widely spouted piece of writing advice comes in the form of ‘show don’t tell’ - Rather than saying how you feel, instead you should show that emotion with imagery, comparison, symbolism, analogy, or specificity of word choice - This is because in general, people respond far more to emotions felt than emotions told.
Consider the following. I could tell you about how war destroys families and kills the innocent. I could give you statistics that highlight numbers lost and the costs of rebuilding. I could state, factually, the plight of a typical refugee. Would such a description evoke emotions in you? For sure, but probably not anywhere near as much as if I instead showed the following simple scene.
A burnt children’s toy lies discarded and forgotten just outside the doorway of a bombed-out home. A man sits rocking, head in hands, muttering to himself…
If you want your poetry to move people, show far more than you tell. In Life I evoke the imagery of an ant toiling away on a rock in an abyss at the whim of a distant faceless ruler. I could have told you that I was feeling depressed, overworked, and full of existential dread. But analogy evokes feelings that hit far harder than mere explanations of emotions.
Life
I am just an ant
On a rock
Spinning in the abyssTrudging through
Yet another dayDoing work
I can’t comprehendAt the whim
Of a queen
I’ll never meet
In ‘fever dreams’ I use water to symbolise the flowing nature of thought; ‘ponds’, ‘thirst’, and ‘drift’. I combined this with ‘fever’, ‘dreams’ and ‘consciousness’, to evoke the feeling of a mind disintegrating into blissful ignorance. I use water again in ‘a waterfall shaping rock’ to show that just as we cannot see the impact of one drop of water, we cannot see the impact of one thought. But over time, collectively, the impact is all too apparent. Once again, had I have told you about the feelings behind these poems rather than showing you, the result would have been stale.
fever dreams
fever dreams
liberate the mind
boundless and edgeless
thoughts flow
skipping between
ponds of reality
no longer constrained
by rationality
i drift
what once thirsted for stability
now wants for nothing
but the pretty colours
that seem to hold
all meaning
within this play
of consciousnessa waterfall shaping rock
thoughts
relentless
a waterfall shaping rockeach drop
trivial
yet collectively
devastatingtime
forms ruts
inescapableconsciousness
relentless
a river scarring landeach choice
trivial
yet collectively
devastatingthinking patterns
guiding
future flow
It is important to note that you don’t need to invoke symbols or illude to things with analogy to ‘show’ something in a piece. Consider ever the hypocrite, the only descriptive word is ‘hypocrite’, yet despite this, and its short length, it still evokes a story of sorts.
ever the hypocrite
i
ever the hypocrite
ask of you
something
i’d never do
Finally How Is It? uses a very small of words to convey a lot of meaning. It doesn’t explicitly state that I was overwhelmed or run down, nor does it state the general displeasure I was feeling about the capitalistic nature of society.
How Is It?
How is it
That all I get
For all my time
Is so little money
There are of course exceptions to the ‘show don’t tell’ rule, sometimes you will choose to tell rather than show, and if you are actively making this chose, your poetry will benefit enormously.
Telling is far quicker and efficient than showing. How much description would it take for me to effectively show you that I was sad? Imagine how the poem Sad Zac Is Sad would read if, rather than telling you that ‘Sad Zac is sad, He’s feeling bad…’, I instead took the time and words to show you all of those feelings? Not only would the poem be far too long, but more importantly, the entire emotional thrust of the piece would be lost.
Excerpt - Sad Zac is Sad
Sad Zac is sad
He’s feeling bad
He’s feeling like he’s been had
That the times he was glad
And feeling rad
Were in fact just a fad…
Telling at appropriate times also frees the poem to focus on deeper level things as the reader won’t be distracted unnecessarily. Almost all of Not Safe is telling, yet when all of this telling is taken as a whole, the entire poem shows a level of untold and deep emotionality. Spending the words needed to show how ‘I am not safe’ and that it’s ‘not pleasant to be in my company’ would detrimentally detract from the crux of the piece.
Not Safe
It’s not safe
For me to be alone
But it’s not pleasant
To be in my company
So how can I
Ask for you
To waste this day
Comforting me?
Finally, adhering to ‘show don’t tell’ can get ridiculous. Take crescent moon. The title and the first line ‘tells’ you that I am talking about a moon. Imagine the absurd lengths it would take to show the imagery of a moon rather than simply stating it? Granted, this may be something you want to play with, but in most circumstances, you will find yourself showing and telling. It is just a matter of actively choosing when to do one over the other, knowing why you should tell here, and show there.
crescent moon
the moon
a cat’s claw
a sharp warning
a new dawn
As with all the advice in this book, there are no hard and fast rules. Poetry is an artform and thus there is no ‘right way’ to do it, only a way that works for you. Basically, if you want to save time and space on the page, telling is far more effective than showing. Not only does it use less words, but it also opens the piece and allows it’s focus point to remain clear. That said, if you only tell, you risk your reader feeling nothing, and if your reader feels nothing, they won’t be your reader for long.
Summary
Showing makes the reader feel something, it evokes imagery, it moves them. Telling saves time and space on the page, but risks feeling like boring narration.
This chapter is from the book How To Write Evocative Poetry
