I operate under the paradox of striving for stability whilst balancing the chaos that comes my way.

Recent global events have collided with a collection of challenging personal tragedies that has left me feeling rocked.

When my 4 year old son asked me about death, I decided to be honest with him. In this episode I break down how I responded and why.

The reality is that we will all pass. The fact that this all ends gives life meaning.

When you are triggered, you feel like the trauma is happening again.

This is never an easy situation to manage. Whilst triggered, you will experience intense emotions combined with a diminished ability to cope.

This can lead to catastrophe.

In this episode I discuss how I manage my triggers, both internally, as well as how I explain it to those close to me.

The worst of my fears are guaranteed to happen.

At some stage, all of my friends and family will die, and so will I. Nothing else is certain. Yet when I review my topics of rumination, I spend comparatively little time here.

This revelation was exceptionally freeing, I now know that I am free to follow my dreams - why? Because the worst will happen any way.

In this episode I explore this concept in depth.

In this episode I deconstruct the the impact of grief on my mental state and its relationship to dissociation. The catalyst being my dog Max. He suddenly became very sick and may not make it.

This has caused me to introspect, both on how I am feeling about his situation, as well as how emotionally poignant events impact my mental state as well as how I respond to them in turn…