A traumatic past left me with anxiety and depression issues as well as a significant amount of pent up rage. With no guidance of how to deal with it, I turned to punching a bag for relief. Luckily for me it started to work, and I fell in love with martial arts.

Eventually I came across BJJ and I was hooked - the social atmosphere, constant learning, physicality and the practicality in a self defence situation all combined to be one of the best treatments for my mental health issues...

It is 4am as I write this, I am slightly inebriated and my brain is buzzing. I have been up all night writing and I am still going. I can’t stop.

I must keep writing. When I get on a roll I can’t help it. Something comes over me and I must get it out. It is an affliction. This has happened before and will happen again...

In the months leading up the birth of my first child, I noticed something strange occurring. Almost everyone that I told the news to had the same reaction. First, they congratulated me, then they proceeded to tell me endless stories of the horrors of childbirth and fatherhood.

They would share tales of sleepless nights, never ending inconsolable crying and the mountains upon mountains of poo that regularly explodes out of nappies. 

All of this combined in my mind to create a storm of anxious rumination. As the pregnancy progressed, my mental health steadily declined. I would bounce between dissociation and anxiety with a dash of regret thrown in there.

This is the post that I wish was available to me during that time.

Reflecting on my experiences with anxiety leaves me with a one sentence, anxiety killing mantra:

“Anxiety is a liar and it’s taking up too much of my life”.

I want to prove it to you. Consider the following questions:

- When has it ever been as bad as you thought it was going to be?
-How many times have you worried about something that just has never occurred?
-How many anxious thoughts do you have about one thing - could each possible outcome come true?
-How many times were you anxious before an event, only to be completely fine during the event?

"People often excuse a behaviour if there are extenuating circumstances.

We tend to forgive, downplay or simply ignore it, because we realise that the person doing the behaviour is going through something significant and therefore are ‘not themselves’ at the moment..."

You are what you eat: that’s obvious. But have you wondered how social media affects your brain?

It is very hard to un-hear something. Once you have been exposed to an idea, it is impossible to remove the stain of that idea out of your consciousness. 

You can try and counter it, to disprove it, to ignore it or to fill your mind with other thoughts. Regardless, once it is in, it is there forever. Whether or not you asked to have that piece of information is irrelevant...

Gossip is a part of everyday life, but its impact runs deeper than we often realize. While it can feel like harmless conversation, gossip has the power to damage relationships, create misunderstandings, and fuel negativity. When people gossip about you, it can be very hurtful and damaging. In this blog, we’ll explore why people gossip, what to do when people gossip about you, and how we can shift toward more meaningful communication.

Just less than a year ago, I experienced an assault that dramatically changed who I was and how my brain functioned. It has been a slow decline down through depression, anxiety and isolation. The end game with that assault was too domination and control me. But I wanted to share this post to say that you are always one decision away from a different life. (written by an anonymous contributor)

As part of my first university degree, I was required to write an essay on suicide and analyse why there is a significant difference between the suicide completion rates between males and females. It was a critical analysis essay, so the writing style somewhat different to my usual. I share it here now in the thoughts that someone may gain something from reading my essay on suicide:

I don't know where to start other then by saying that writing saved my life, and I wanted to share that with you. Writing has been a lifeline for me throughout my journey with mental health challenges. In moments of deep despair and confusion, putting pen to paper has provided a powerful outlet for my thoughts and emotions, helping me to process my experiences and find clarity.

In a world that often glorifies selflessness and sacrifice, the idea of putting yourself first can feel uncomfortable, maybe even selfish. But the truth is, prioritizing your own wellbeing isn’t just essential for your personal growth and happiness; it’s also crucial for the health of your relationships and the impact you have on others. Putting yourself first is not selfish, it’s a non negotiable.

Each time that I was close to following through, one thought kept coming to mind. It was so poignant that I couldn’t shake it: before making a permanent decision, give yourself the chance to try before you die - try everything you’ve ever dreamed of - you might just find a reason to stay.

Despite being great at keeping me alive antidepressants are certainly not ideal. Antidepressants are one of the most commonly prescribed treatments for depression, but how effective are they, and what should you consider before taking them? Do antidepressants make you emotionless too? And what are some alternative treatments for depression?

A violent conflict is a serious event, you could face psychological, physical or legal consequences for your involvement - even if you didn't "start it'. You need to know what to do post conflict - what to do after a fight.

You need to know how to end a fight quickly: you have been pushed, punched, grabbed or charged at. Maybe a weapon is pulled. What do you do?

You will have to act fast, because the chances of an undesirable outcome for you is increasing exponentially every second.

I often joke with my students that ‘the best martial arts for self-defense is the 100-meter sprint’. But there is a lot of truth to it. If you are not being restrained, just run. Don’t think about it, just get out of there, fast ...

If you want to stay safe it really is simple, do not put yourself in danger in the first place. Obvious I know, but many martial arts instructors fail to emphasize this point. Preventing conflict is the best form of self-defense and is the best thing you can do to keep yourself safe.

Adults martial arts classes have been a lifesaver for me in many ways over the years. They have taught me discipline, resilience, and a way to navigate the chaos of conflict, both physical and mental.