Can't Quite Express
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Can’t Quite Express is a 6500+ word epic poem.
Part expression,
Part confession,
Part question.
It is an intimate look at the impact of mental illness, trauma, and neglect. A critical dissection of the interconnected roles that family, religion, society, education, and government play, as well as their impacts upon an individual. A commentary on current affairs, historical trends, and the bleak potential of our collective future.
Can’t Quite Express is also both an example of, and an encouragement for, writing therapy.
It will show you how to use writing to heal, and then encourage you to pick up a pen and begin for yourself.
The page listens.
It doesn’t judge.
It has a perfect memory but can be easily discarded.
It is always available, always accepting, always there.
Can’t Quite Express will move you to contemplate, introspect and act. It will leave a mark. One that will reverberate into your future through your words, actions, relationships, and writing.
About
I started writing Can't Quite Express in 2013. Back then I didn't realise what it would become, but I knew I had to get it onto the page.
I was writing what I now have discovered to be called a ‘monorhyme', a poem where the last line of each sentence has the same rhyme structure. I wanted to express the fact that trauma and neglect causes me to clam up and not be able to articulate the totality of my inner experience.
The title was a bit of an irony.
I shared the first version, perhaps 200 words, in the book, Words on a Page. But since then, I kept coming back to the idea of monorhymes and what I cannot express.
Flash forward to early 2022 and I had added around a thousand words to the piece and thought it was done - perhaps it could be a spoken word song, or just a long poem in a collection. My wife however told me that it 'didn't quite feel done yet' and suggested that I 'add something more'.
Very helpful advice as I was then compelled to add more and more until it reached its final size of 6700ish words.
Ironic, because I still feel like I cannot quite express the totality of the themes I speak on. Themes such as trauma, neglect, suicide, acceptance, religion, education, family, money, corruption, capitalism and stigma. That said, I am super proud of this poem, now book.
Writing it felt like the best therapy and sharing it feels like purpose.
I hope you feel the same way.
I use writing to heal. When you put pen to paper and flow, some of the pain and confusion dissipates. Can't Quite Express is both an example of, and guide to, using writing as therapy. When you embrace your truth, engage with your past, and write your story you start to let go. It's hold over you diminishes and you get some space to move on with your life.
Perhaps, just maybe, this poem will inspire you to start writing yourself. You don't need to share what you create, but create you should. Trust me when I say that the long-term benefits out way the temporary pain,
Can't Quite Express is out now: eBook, Paperback, & Audio.
Below you will find the original poem that spurred this epic!
Can’t Quite Express (original)
There are things that I want to say,
But just can't quite express.
Ruminations and meditations
That I'm too afraid to address.
Like the veil over my eyes
That keeps me hidden from the stress.
To the dark wishes
That I'm fighting to suppress.
Like the fear and anxiety
That I will constantly transgress.
To the past expressions
That I am never going to confess.
Like how everything I do
Gives me nothing but duress.
To the unwavering ache and torment
That’s causing me to regress.
I must profess, I desire to express my stress
Confess to address this abscess, to obsess on
Happiness, to aim for excess and to stop
Living like a fucked-up mess.
Yes, I want to make progress but there are just
Some things that I can't quite express.
