Be Present, For Now Is All That Exists
Mantra
Be present,
For now is all that exists.
Grow, enjoy, and act morally.
Drop your ego, listen,
Empathise and forgive.
Trust your intuition and be compassionate.
Nothing more is within your control.
Let it go and just feel.
Accept yourself.
“Be present,
For now is all that exists.”
The present moment is all that exists. The past is gone, and the future has not yet come. We are continuously dealing with ramifications of the past. The choices we made then, will forever impact us today. Similarly, the impact of our choices today, will forever reverberate into our future. Yet neither the future nor the past exists as more than a construct. We are impacted by it, and need to plan accordingly, but our lived experience is one of repeated present moments strung together.
It is easy to get caught up in the momentum of our lives. We continue to go to work at the same places, associate with the same people, and do the same recreational activities as we have always done. We may make some occasional changes, but it is rare that we drastically alter the trajectory of our lives. But if we truly embody the concept that the present moment is all that exists, we could theoretically choose any moment, perhaps even this moment, to make such changes in our lives.
We could leave the abusive relationships.
We could change careers and pursue our passions.
We could travel.
We could take a chance and speak.
We could act.
The problem is that it is hard to detach from our habits to the extent necessary to consider implementing such changes. Luckily, there are some thought experiments that can highlight the possibility of attaining the freedom of the present moment.
The first involves imagining that you were magically transported into the life of a stranger. You are still you, with your current knowledge, beliefs, desires, and personality, but are placed into another body, complete with its own past and life. If this were to occur, what are the chances that you would make the same choices that the stranger would have made? Likely you would look at your new life and very quickly break with its protocols and traditions. You would be far more likely to accept the present moment as all that exists, because the past would not exist in the same way as it traditionally does. Now comes the interesting part, what would someone who was transported into your life do with it, and importantly, what is stopping you from doing the same?
The second involves imagining that your life started right at this very moment. Your knowledge of the past is in fact an implanted memory, not something that really happened. This scenario would of course feel identical to real life. Because the reality is that the past does not exist beyond our memory of it. If we believe that our life started now, we would be far freer to take action to break the current trajectory of our life. We would not feel so attached to the story of our life and would subsequently be in a better place to break out of the mould we have found ourselves in.
We tend to let the stories of our past place us into a rigid mode of thought and action. If we had a challenging upbringing, we may come to view the world as an adversary to overcome. Our response puts us into direct opposition with the people around us, which subsequently causes them to respond back in kind. This is a self-fulfilling cycle, that ultimately ‘proves’ our hypothesis correct.
‘Of course, the world is adversarial, look at how people treat me. I am only acting like this to ensure that I protect myself and survive.’
There will come a time where most, if not all, of the hostility we now receive has come as a response to our actions.
What is stopping us from breaking this cycle?
If we focus on the present moment we can glimpse the possibility of a new reality. We can start to question our assumptions and interpret reality from a new perspective. This is not easy, but it is possible if we are willing to let go of the stories of our past and write a new script. One where we are treated well, where people are kind, and where we give and receive the benefit of the doubt. If we choose to interpret all ambiguous actions as positive, and enter every conversation with a smile and hope for a positive outcome, we will find that the reality that we receive back will be mostly positive.
The present moment can be substantially different from the past; we just need to embrace it. Once we find ourselves accepting our current reality, the natural progression is to push towards improvement. Only by accepting what is happening, can we hope to make truly positive changes.
So, we head down a self-improvement path; looking at our habits, diets, relationships, education, careers, and mental states. If we notice a deficiency, we will be primed to take action to address it. Slowly, but inevitably, we will see the results of our actions. And once the ball gets rolling, it will be hard to stop. There will be a synergy between the different categories of our efforts. The more we exercise, the better our mental state. These gains allow us to study with greater efficiency and explore abstract avenues of growth. This all compounds and expands our confidence which subsequently improves our relationships and work life. We start to feel better and thus want to go harder with self-improvement. The problem comes when this process goes into hyper drive. There is a real risk of burning out and breaking down in the attempt to improve ourselves.
Rest is vital for growth.
In our newfound pursuit of personal attainment, we need to ensure that we are taking the time to rest and recover.
“Grow, enjoy, and act morally.”
There is no point performing optimally if we are not heading in a desirable direction. We may find that what we previously associated with fun has completely changed. Our past habits may lose their appeal if they are now leaving us physically or emotionally drained. If this is the case, we will need to explore new options. What can we do to recover our mind, body, and soul? What do we now find enjoyable? What is fun for us?
Accepting the present moment will force us to consider our morality. If we are focused on the past or the future, it is easy to ignore the consequences of our choices. But when we start to focus on what is happening, we may be in for an unpleasant shock. We will drop the illusions of ignorance, belief, and hope, and replace them with clarity. When this occurs, we may feel ashamed of ourselves. We may fall into a cycle of self-criticism over our past words and actions, easily deconstructing our false logic and justifications.
By accepting the present moment, we accept the consequences of our actions.
I am not going to dictate an objective moral code that we should all live by. I am not sure if one exists, and if it does, I do not believe I have the capacity to do it justice here. What I will encourage you to do however is to lean into the search for what is right. Listen to your conscience, read widely on the topic, and consider the implications of those lessons in your life, as well as if it was applied to all people. Look at the problems facing the world, both personal and species wide and consider your role in it all. Look to religious teachings, psychology, and philosophy. Look to your elders. This will be a lifelong journey of discovery and application. As you gain more knowledge and experience, your views on what is right and how to embody that rightness will grow.
“Drop your ego, listen,
Empathise and forgive.”
Challenging and changing long held beliefs does not come naturally. In fact, we are almost designed to find an approach that works and then to rigidly stick to it. In evolutionary terms, when we find something that works well enough to keep us alive long enough to have offspring, we stick to it. Sure, a new approach may be far more effective, but there is a risk of failure that comes with change. Thus, those who stuck to the traditional, proven methods survived to pass that trait on to their children.
This same concept is applied to our thought processes, reasoning, and opinions. From a young age we learn from our elders through observation and then indoctrination. What works for them should of course work for us, right? Thus, by the time we are adults ourselves, we are left with a wealth of cultural baggage, prejudice, assumptions, and potentially faulty reasoning. But since we are no longer hiding in caves or fighting lions on the savanna, it would be wise to investigate our beliefs and consider the very real possibility that we may be wrong. Remember, if we were born in another time, place or to different parents, our current beliefs would be drastically different.
Therefore, we need to drop our ego and listen to other people. A good rule to start our investigation is, ‘If it hurts to hear it, look for the truth in it. If it comforts to hear it, look for the lie in it’. With this approach we can actively challenge our past assumptions, right at the point where they intersect with a disparate reality.
On an interpersonal level, this ego drop manifests as the need to empathise and forgive. We only see the world through the lens of our minds, and thus are practically blind to all other points of view. Yet we can get a glimpse of another person’s reality by mentally stepping into their shoes and imagining what life must be like for them. This will better enable us to see the reasons why they have acted as they have.
It is also a good idea to simply forgive people and give them the benefit of the doubt. It is well established that despite our ego’s insistence, we can be wrong. Thus, I tend to err on the side of forgiveness and misunderstanding, choosing to assume good intentions wherever there is any amount of ambiguity. This process results in significantly less interpersonal conflict and rumination. Most of the time, and with most people, little grievances, confusing comments, insults, or harsh words are simply forgotten. Likely they never occurred in the first place, and I was simply wrong.
There are of course some people, situations and actions that fall outside of my ability to forgive. When this occurs, I gently step back from them and move on without burning bridges in the process. They may be vindictive, cruel, or otherwise negative, but it is rarely if ever a good move to purposefully offend, even in retaliation.
“Trust your intuition and be compassionate.”
Every time something happens to us, good or bad, we learn from it. Over time, and with repeated iterations and examples, we develop a complex form of subconscious pattern recognition. This is what we call our intuition. Its job is to act as an early warning system, a short cut to judgement and subsequent action, and keep us safe. Intuition is not a spiritual or mystical phenomenon, but rather something that all animals rely upon. A tool that we have been honing since the moment of our birth.
However, because we initially just get the feeling and not the reasons why we have that feeling, far too often we choose to ignore it. Then, after a catastrophic lost opportunity or terrible relationship breakdown, we berate ourselves for not trusting our intuition. It was right after all, even if we did not know it at the time.
The next time you have an intuitive feeling, simply investigate it. You do not yet need to act upon it, but rather to take the time to look into why you feel that way about the person, event, or activity. Was it the tone of voice used? A certain look in the eye? A particular facial expression? Perhaps it was some kind of structural concern or otherwise discrete environmental detail that you had to scan for to discover.
What you are doing here is learning how to trust your intuition, so that the next time it flags something, you can act first and work out why later. And even if you are not able to work out why you had a certain feeling, you will have faith that, for whatever reason, you intuitively knew that you should or should not do a certain thing. This practice not only saves time, but also will help you live a more connected and self-aware life, one in which you are learning to trust your own judgements and act accordingly.
“Nothing more is within your control.
Let it go and just feel.”
Anxiety is a liar.
It will present you with countless obscure possibilities, all bad, none of which have much chance of occurring. Yet it is so easy to ruminate, worry, and to subsequently attempt to plan for every possible contingency. Miring us in a perpetual struggle to stop the scary onslaught of the future from overwhelming us.
The reality is that we can only control a small part of reality. Worrying about anything outside of our sphere of control is worse than pointless. It stops us from acting on what we can act upon; ironically leaving us more vulnerable.
All I can do is be present.
All I can do is develop myself, enjoy my life, and act morally.
All I can do is attempt to drop my ego, empathise, and forgive.
All I can do is to trust my intuition and be compassionate.
There really is nothing else within my control, and thus if I do the best in the areas I can impact, all else will sort itself out as it will, only this way I will be in the best mental, physical and spiritual state to meet it. By taking action when I can, on what I can, my anxiety is greatly reduced because I know that I am doing all that I can possibly do to practically and positively impact my future.
“Accept yourself.”
Good or bad, right or wrong, I can only be myself.
Of course, I will take action to improve and grow, but the degree and ways in which I choose to do so are themselves limited by who I am. Thus, I need to accept myself. I need to love myself for who I am, flaws and all. Given that I am stuck with myself for the remainder of my time on earth, it seems like a wise idea to learn to live with and love the person that I am. I encourage you to do the same.
I accept myself, for who I am, as I am
This chapter is from the book Reflections Of The Self: The Poetry, Insights, and Wisdom of Silence
