You are allowed to relax.

It is okay to look after yourself, and you should be occasionally spoiling yourself. Rest, recover and heal. Self-care is a vital component to ‘Defeating Depression’ as well as preventing all forms of mental affliction. Yet self-care is often overlooked, discounted or put so low on the priority list that it never gets done.

I know I am guilty of this…

Reading is a healthy form of escapism. If you find a good book, or better yet an author that you connect with, you will have a tool to escape your current situation and draw you into a new one. This allows you to put aside your current woes, stressors and issues, to instead immerse yourself into a new world. True, this world may have challenges of its own, but from the vantage point of the reader, you get to safely experience another life…

Before we progress into the advanced practice component of this book, it is important to address some common myths and misconceptions about mindfulness. Below you will find some of the questions, beliefs and concerns people have prior to starting a mindfulness practice, as well as some of the things they wished they knew earlier on….

The mind and body are completely interconnected. If something is wrong in the body, the mind may be the first place to show it. Irritability can be caused by tiredness or feeling cold. Headaches and mental tension can often be cured by hydration. Heightened anxiety levels can be significantly reduced by eating. The symptoms of depression are very similar to those of overtraining.

‘‘‘To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.’ – Lao Tzu

One of the goals of our meditation practice is to bring the mindfulness state off the meditation mat and into our everyday lives. Just as we lift weights in the gym to be strong in daily life, we meditate formally so we can be mindful in daily life. But there need not be a distinction between the end of a formal session and the rest of our day. Indeed, with practice we will be increasingly able to become mindful at any time. First with small glimpses, and then over longer periods of time…

‘‘We have only now, only this single eternal moment opening and unfolding before us, day and night.’ – Jack Kornfield

Knowing if you are meditating correctly is uniquely challenging. Unlike most other pursuits, it is completely internal, and the results are entirely subjective. You could watch two people sitting, one in deep meditation and the other lost in a daydream, and not be able to tell who was doing what. In fact, the day dreamer may emerge from their sit appearing more refreshed and relaxed than when they began, whereas the meditator may appear exhausted….

The mind and body are completely interconnected. If something is wrong in the body, the mind may be the first place to show it. Irritability can be caused by tiredness or feeling cold. Headaches and mental tension can often be cured by hydration. Heightened anxiety levels can be significantly reduced by eating. The symptoms of depression are very similar to those of overtraining.

Art can almost never be pure.

I would like to remove the word ‘never’ from the above sentence, but I loathe to make definitive statements. There may be an exception to the rule that I haven’t explored and will never be exposed to. But as it stands, I am not convinced.

It comes down to intention.

Bound to the Wings of a Butterfly is a collection of poetry, written as an act of writing therapy. It is about healing, recovery, and self-acceptance. About the journey of discovery that comes with true internal healing, and about transforming our lives, towards positivity, beauty, and love…

Tips for Making Money Creating Art

Big news, I’m now earning enough from my online work to pay the rent. That’s right, my poems are paying the bills baby!

Breaking this milestone came as somewhat of a surprise. Given that I have multiple sources of income, it took until tax time for me to do the math, and realise that I had, after five years, in-fact ‘made it’.

True, I’m not living off my work, I’m not uber wealthy or well known, but the fact remains, the rent is paid, and next year is looking even better…

It’s only through the open and honest discussion of our mental health issues, past traumas, and the recovery process that we can hope to heal and reduce stigma. I have made it my mission to talk, write, and share my journey as widely as possible, and to encourage others to do the same.

I recently posted a meme about neurodivergent people struggling with eye contact, as well as a second post about how a diagnosis is akin to learning that you’re playing the game on hard mode; it doesn’t reduce the difficulty, but it lets you strategize.

This prompted a few of my followers to ask about my diagnosis: Am I neurodivergent? So, I figured I would clarify here.

The short answer is ‘no, but…’

Basically, I have a collection of symptoms that present primarily as anxiety derived from complex post-traumatic stress disorder (c-PTSD)…

Typically the advice to ‘Sleep On It’ it is given when somebody is working themselves up over a decision. The suggestion is offered in the hopes that it will cause the person to take a breath, detach from the situation and approach finalising the decision from a calmer place.

I wish that I had seen the light on this one long ago. It would have saved me countless days of emotional suffering. A review of my past decision making process has taught me that I need to take a step back, calm down and detach prior to taking action.

Some days, meditation can seem like a chore. It can feel like you are totally out of focus for the entire session. That your mind is wandering out of control, and it is all you can do to stop yourself from getting off the mat and ending the session early. Perhaps you are plagued by embarrassing memories, find yourself bombarded by strong emotions, or are simply falling asleep. Whatever the reason, that meditation session just sucked. Please do not stress, this happens to everyone. It is not a sign of regression, or that you are meditating incorrectly. The truth is that you can only have the meditation you are having. Whatever happens, happens and that is okay.

Part of me still cringes at posts like this. It goes against so much cultural stigma and childhood conditioning, ‘Stop crying and harden the f*ck up already son’.

The thing is, I have known far too many people who have ended their own lives, self-harmed or turned to drugs.

I’ve suffered in this way myself.

Yet, despite knowing how healing it is to talk and let go of pent-up emotions, particularly rage, embarrassment, confusion and self-worth issues, it is hard for me to do so.

The good news is that you can bypass those gate keepers. It takes hard work and some divergent thinking, but it’s possible.

I’m doing it with my writing.

I don’t want a traditional publisher for a few reasons (creative licence, topic choices and style). Beyond that, I get nervous at the prospect of the rejection cycle and working with others with my creative work.

If I am in a bad place mentally, any problem, challenge or complication has the potential to derail me completely.

I become overwhelmed with the onslaught coming from my mental afflictions combined with the stress of completing the new task. My self-talk becomes negative, directed at my inability to handle the problem, and then at me as a whole for once again ‘losing it’ over something so insignificant.

“Hey Siri, play Hybrid Theory by Linkin Park.”

I loved that album. Perfectly mixing the clash of drums, distorted guitars, and iconic new metal disc scratching, all overlayed with a vocal combination of rap, rock, and a touch of screamo. But the lyrics, they were something else entirely. It felt like they were pulled straight from my mind. Perfectly expressing the confusing feelings of rage, fear, dissociation, suicidal ideation and anger I felt. Anger I directed at myself and the anger I directed at the world.

Imagine waking up on a Monday morning excited to be going to work? Or lamenting the fact that it is Friday and you won’t be working for the next few days? If you loved your work, this would be a reality.

This isn’t to say that your dream has to be financial of course, but considering how much time we all spend working, it would be ideal if our work was somewhat in line with our passion as opposed to the drudgery that many people complain of.

For all the hassle that anxiety causes us, it is actually an evolutionary must have. Of all of our potential ancestors, only the anxious survived. The ones who were concerned for their future enough to stockpile supplies for the winter, lived. The ones who took an extra wide berth to avoid that snake looking stick over there, lived. The ones who were concerned about the social cohesion of their tribe, lived.

To this day, anxiety stops us from making fools of ourselves by proposing the question, ‘what if it goes wrong?’

Working correctly, anxiety is the little voice on our shoulder that keeps us safe from harm. It is our imagination harnessed for the purposes of self-preservation.