What do you think would happen if you cut out all sugar, fast food, and alcohol from your diet for 75 days straight? What if you also exercised for 90 minutes each day and drank 3+ litres of water?

You’d become a shredded god, lose a bunch of weight, and get super fit and strong… right?

Wrong.

You would probably just look slightly more toned and lose a little bit of your love handles – at least that’s what happened to me…

I don’t know who I am.

Sure, I can list superficial markers of identification, but these feel more like generic labels as opposed to true representations of ‘me’.

I am a father.
I am an author.
I am a husband.
I train martial arts.
I prefer quiet recreation.

I could go on an on with these descriptors, but their sum still wouldn’t come close to encompassing who or what I am. Beyond that, I simply do not connect to them. That list would describe a person, but not me. I don’t think it could ever describe me. I am not sure that there is a ‘me’ to be described…

I just woke up and the anxiety was upon me. It only took nine minutes.

Nine minutes before I began to dwell on an upcoming social obligation. Oscillating between deciding to go and hating it, or decided to bail and letting everyone down.

Or do it & stop taking writing advice from mediocre bloggers like me …

As NaNoWriMo approaches unsuccessful writers all over the blogger sphere will be attempting to cash in on your dreams.

They know it’s hard to write a novel, so hard in-fact that they have given up trying. Instead they are here to you offer you advice on how to complete their lost dreams…

I want to make it clear that I am 100% supportive of the intent behind these guidelines: Consent is king. Safety is paramount. Minors must be protected.

My problem is with the execution and judgement of what is considered acceptable and what isn’t. Put simply, questionable posts are flagged and removed by algorithms/AI whose decision can then be appealed and supposedly reviewed by a real person…

I am not in a good way right now. My social anxiety is through the roof, I am struggling to look people in the eye, and I am having panic attacks while shopping. I find myself staring at a blank wall, for minutes on end, attempting to decompress from even the most mundane interactions or setbacks.

What does friendship as an adult look like, or more specifically, what does friendship as an adult look like when you have a mental illness?

Answer: not like the movies, not like you learnt in high-school, and it isn’t easy for either party.

It is amazing how much I don’t know about basic human functioning. Sure, I taught myself how to survive, but every time something new comes up, I freak out and break down. I have no basis upon which to draw from, just a gaping hole where a loving and caring childhood should have been….

For some people, their meditation practice is greatly enhanced in the presence of others. Getting together with a group of like-minded people to practice can be quite rewarding. A good meditation group will be motivating and help keep you accountable. It is one thing to skip a session when you are alone, but quite another when you have agreed to meet up with a group. This is a form of positive social pressure and is a great tool to harness the positive effects of peer pressure. What is more, when you are meditating with others, you will have a wealth of experiences and resources to draw upon should any questions or concerns arise.

The desire to ‘make it perfect’ makes complete sense. You want every aspect as good as possible, because having it that way would ensure that the business will run optimally. You want to take pride in your work, and to know that you put in 100% effort, that you worked and worked and worked until the vision in your mind was turned into reality. Unfortunately, this approach simply won’t work.

Perfection doesn’t exist. The closer you come, the harder each incremental step becomes.

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” – Paulo Coelho

Say no to requests that don’t align with your goals and values. This will free up your time and energy to focus on what matters most to you.

“Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living and truth loving.” – James E Faust

Unless you are completely honest with yourself, your actions will be out of line with your true purpose. By ‘true purpose’ I am not referring to anything religious or spiritual. I am referring to what you as an individual, given your unique set of genetics and environmental influences, is best set up to do.

Weekends don’t exist, at least not for those who want to make a change in the world or for those with a dream.

If you have a passion project, a business that you are building up, or a dream that you want to follow, you need all the time you can possibly get your hands on.

“There is suffering in this world. To live is to suffer.” – Buddha

There is no avoiding the fact that this chapter may come across as harsh to some readers. It will contain some suggestions that if taken on face value may seem offensive, insulting or uninformed. If you feel this way, please do continue reading to the end as I will hopefully clarify my position adequately, as well as potentially give you another tool to combat depression.

There is a real risk that we will come across a line of reasoning or a thought process that makes us question our own existence, makes us doubt the point of living, or otherwise traps us into a downward spiral of mental affliction as we ruminate over the consequences of our newfound knowledge – a ‘Philosophical Trap’.

 “Good things are coming down the road. Just don’t stop walking.”  – Robert Warren Painter Jr

Keep persisting towards your goals. Recognise that it is only through years of experience, work, and overcoming failure and setbacks that you will be successful. If you quit, you guarantee your failure.

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“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” – Napoleon Hill

Recognise that it will never feel like the right time to take action, and that there will always be a reason not to follow your dreams. Do it regardless. Taking action is the only way to achieve success.

Daily meditation will help you to reduce the severity and duration of distressing thoughts, emotions, moods and mind-frames by getting you out of your head and into the present moment.

It will give you some space between you and your mental phenomena, allowing you to observe what is happening without falling into it completely.

You can’t be as good a parent, sibling, friend, employee, boss, or anything else if you are emotionally drained, compromised, or suffering from a mental affliction.

The better you are, the better you can help others.

“You have heard the saying ‘Analysis creates paralysis.’ You can’t be 100% sure of anything.” – Mark Burnett

The less decisions that you have to make, the more mental space you can devote to what actually matters. Slowly eliminate as many decisions as possible.