One of the least discussed of the patterns we carry is hypersexuality after abuse, especially when it arises from the fawn response, a lesser-known trauma reaction. When fight, flight, or freeze aren't options, some individuals learn to appease. This coping strategy, often developed during or after abuse or neglect, can manifest later in life as hypersexual behaviour. While often misunderstood or judged, hypersexuality in this context is not about desire, it's about survival - at least on one level.

Welcome to Intuitive Guidance for Self Healing, a transformative course that invites you to release old wounds, reintegrate lost parts, and reconnect with your true self.

Intuitive Guidance holds to the premise that the body keeps the score. Simply put, what we don't or can't process manifests over time as illness, injury, psychological blocks, and stress. The good news is that by turning our attention to the body, connecting to it, and allowing it to express, it will begin to release…

This free shadow work journal PDF will help you discover your truth and become whole. Inside you will find a comprehensive guide to shadow work journaling alongside a colleciton of activities and prompts.

I believe in informed enthusiastic consent in all things - If you and everyone involved are not saying ‘fuck yes’ to an idea, event, or action it’s a ‘hell no’…

I have had tremendous success recently transcending trauma and healing complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems and wanted to share a deep unlock that I experienced today.

Below is a poem called ‘dear little part of me’ - it expresses the end point of an internal dialogue that I had with a young protective part of me…

I am two people contained in one body.

Number One is self-conscious, prone to prolonged bouts of mental illness, and not at all confident.

Number Two is a highly motivated, fit and confident person. One who pushes himself daily to grow, learn and produce.

My father was a drug dealer. He would use the profits from what he sold, to pay for what he used himself.
 
Growing up I was exposed to his dealing on a daily basis. I watched and learnt. Taking in all of the lessons he didn’t realise he was teaching…

Rock bottom implies a hard abrupt end. A clear definable point at which things can’t get worse.

I realise I’ve been waiting for such a point, waiting for a clear moment where I can say, ‘ah ha! This is it, this is the lowest point of the dark night of my soul.’

But now I realise that the analogy of rock bottom is faulty…

The body keeps the score alright - for me it’s my belly, specifically on the left side just below my belly button.  Deep trauma that gets triggered when I eat the wrong foods (or too much), when I stretch, when I work out my core and when I’m having body dysmorphia issues.

Throughout my childhood I would always see things through other people’s eyes. Not in the empathic sense, but in the seemingly literal sense. I would never be truly in my own mind, rather I would 'see myself' from a third person perspective. This was true for most of my memories, dreams, and imaginations. It would even somehow occur in real time. For example, when walking down the street to the local shop, I would not see the goings on from my own perspective. Logically, I would be using my own eyes to navigate and avoid obstacles and the like, but internally, my perception of reality would somehow be simultaneously presented to me from an outside perspective.

It was as if I was constantly observing my life through a television set, watching the characters interact, seeing them move and hearing them talk. Just like when you are watching television, there is little emotional investment in the outcome. You know that it is all just an act and that everyone involved is just pretending. So what if the main character dies, this show is not real. So what if his brother is being bullied, this show is not real. It does not matter that somebody is doing drugs in front of their five-year-old child, this show is not real.

I recently posted a meme about neurodivergent people struggling with eye contact, as well as a second post about how a diagnosis is akin to learning that you’re playing the game on hard mode; it doesn’t reduce the difficulty, but it lets you strategize.

This prompted a few of my followers to ask about my diagnosis: Am I neurodivergent? So, I figured I would clarify here.

The short answer is ‘no, but…’

Basically, I have a collection of symptoms that present primarily as anxiety derived from complex post-traumatic stress disorder (c-PTSD)…

“Hey Siri, play Hybrid Theory by Linkin Park.”

I loved that album. Perfectly mixing the clash of drums, distorted guitars, and iconic new metal disc scratching, all overlayed with a vocal combination of rap, rock, and a touch of screamo. But the lyrics, they were something else entirely. It felt like they were pulled straight from my mind. Perfectly expressing the confusing feelings of rage, fear, dissociation, suicidal ideation and anger I felt. Anger I directed at myself and the anger I directed at the world.

It is amazing how much I don’t know about basic human functioning. Sure, I taught myself how to survive, but every time something new comes up, I freak out and break down. I have no basis upon which to draw from, just a gaping hole where a loving and caring childhood should have been….

To be clear, mindfulness is not the act of meditating. It is the state that arises from our meditation practice. Therefore, mindfulness is not dependent on the use of the breath as a meditation object. Anything can be used: sounds, sights, physical sensations, thoughts, and even awareness itself. In fact, if we want to integrate the benefits into our everyday life, it is vital that we explore mindfulness across a broad spectrum of meditation objects. That way, we will have the tools of mindfulness readily available to employ, wherever and whenever we need them. What is the point of our practice if the benefits do not transcend the meditation mat?

Why writing a web comic is harder than writing about trauma

I write down what was discussed, and any advice given. I do not want to leave the session and forget what was covered. I am paying for it after all, with my time, money, and mental state…

A quick review of our past reveals many moments of joy and positivity; times when things just worked. When a failure came, it did not break us. We picked ourselves back up, learnt a lesson, and pushed forward. Similarly, we can look back and see expanses of misery and suffering. Times where we were down and out, at rock bottom and struggling. There were occasional wins, yet these barely succeeded in moving the needle.

Some I know of and actively avoid. Others blindside me. Some are specific, only occurring around a particular person or situation. Others are global and will without fail impact me anywhere and everywhere.

It can be a look, a smell, a touch. Anything.

Somewhere along the line I lost contact with myself. Trauma froze me in time. This made me withdraw from people.

Connection now scares me.

Being thus frozen, my way of looking at the world, from a relationship perspective also froze. At the time of the freeze I was young. At that age, socialising is often facilitated by the adults for the child, it’s rarely done directly.