You don’t have to choose between the journey and the destination.

Most self-improvement and inner peace approaches lean hard in one direction, acceptance without growth, or growth without self-love. But real, sustainable, purpose-aligned change needs both.

Inspired by Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), this short talk offers a simple framework for holding acceptance and improvement at the same time.

What if you were able to love yourself whilst fixing yourself?

'I closed my eyes to the beauty of the sea, shielding the fragile part of my soul that still believed in an untainted moment. As I walked away I couldn't help but feel...'

In this episode share a story of healing and self-acceptance through poetry.

Using the symbolism of water, nature, and floating, I’ll guide you inward, into the parts that learned to brace, shut down, and survive.

You will leave hopeful for your own process of returning back to the self.

There comes a time when we know we need to act, but nonetheless find ourselves blocked by fear, or inertia, or confusion, or some other unnamable emotion.

It is then when we must take a leap of faith - despite the possibility that we may fail. In this talk I discuss how I have taken a leap of faith and offer guidance on how you can do the same.

If you are struggling to do what you know you must, this one is for you!

In this episode I talk about my approach to my online work, as well as the mental processors that have been holding me back.

I release everything I do, for free, because I don’t want money to be a barrier for life saving advice.

I moved out of home at 16. Back then I couldn’t afford food, let alone a book or therapy. So now I want to ensure that people who are in a similar situation to me have access to the advice, techniques, tools and resources that helped me to survive.

I am not in the best way ATM, but unlike previous times I have felt this way I have made a different choice.

Rather than choosing to inebriate myself, I chose not to. I recognised how I would feel during and after the inebriation, and how I have previously felt and made a different choice.

So now I have been left to sit with the pain, but also to recognise that my pain won’t last (because it never lasts).

I can take good actions:
- I followed my crisis plan
- Undertook self-care
- I prioritised my mental health
- I focused on the good

When you get triggered it can feel like the world is ending, like all your past trauma is happening simultaneously.

In this episode I discuss how it feels for me, as well as what I do about it in the moment and over the long term.

The symptoms of depression, anxiety and other mental afflictions can at times have physiological causes.

In this episode I discuss the importance of conducting a ‘status check’ of your physical body, doing self care and of making a crisis plan before you need it!

When you are triggered, you feel like the trauma is happening again.

This is never an easy situation to manage. Whilst triggered, you will experience intense emotions combined with a diminished ability to cope.

This can lead to catastrophe.

In this episode I discuss how I manage my triggers, both internally, as well as how I explain it to those close to me.

Self care is not simply ‘feeling good in the moment’ - It is about real and long term growth. It is about establishing discipline, getting therapy, reaching out for help, diet, exercise and meditation.

Ask yourself ‘will this action help me in both the short and long term?’

My father was an addict and a drug dealer. He never harmed me directly, but the clientele he let into his house were a different story.

In his house, exposed to that world, I learnt a lot.

A crisis plan outlines what you would like to occur when you are going through a mental health emergency.

It acts as a trigger for action that when implemented, takes you through the steps necessary to get the help that you may need.

I strongly suggest that you make a crisis plan up now - while you are in a good place - so that it is there for you when you are not.

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There is a lag between taking action to improve yourself (diet, exercise, meditation etc) and noticing the results of those actions.

Keep this in mind whenever you start a new positive habit. If you know that it will take a while to see any benefits. then you will persevere with it long enough to actually see those results.

How can you ever know if one person is worse off than another? Given that we all view the world through a subjective lens, this may be impossible. In this episode, I talk about how I approach this issue, and use it to help myself and others.

It wasn’t until I tried writing that I saw major improvements as a direct result of treatment.

Unlike talking therapy, I found that I could express myself far more freely onto a blank page. When I sat down to write, I didn’t have to worry about what the page thought of me. It can’t judge. I could ramble, reiterate and back track without concern for transmitting understanding to someone else.

At 26 years old Toby Carr underwent spinal surgery to address a large disc extrusion at C6/C7 (the base of the neck).

“The worst case scenario is you’ll never walk again … and you’ll have limited use of your arms and hands.” …

Zachary reads a chapter of his first book: Under the Influence - Reclaiming my Childhood.

Chapter title: "Who Let The Bum In"

The books you read, shows you watch and the company you keep literally shape you. They will change how you think, feel and ultimately behave ...

So choose them wisely.

"Writing has been one of the most therapeutic things that I have done. I started with poetry, but quickly moved into a longer format of fiction and blogs, culminating with a book ..."