Sex Toys, Shame and Making Your Man Moan
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Society seems to want to vilify all forms of desire and lust, while simultaneously using those very natural pulls to sell everything….
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The First Step To Healing Is Always Acceptance
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Before you can properly address a problem, you first need to accept that the problem exists.
This is true for all aspects of life, but in my experience, particularly true for addressing the impact of past trauma, and dealing with mental afflictions…
Read MoreFinding Safety in Safe Words
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Terms like sapiosexual, demisexual, pansexual, get thrown around a lot, and I’ve always wondered where I fit on the spectrum. A review of my past partners, and passed attractions, reveals something interesting to me. I don’t really have one type.
Whilst I have certain preferences and prefer to connect over intelligence/humour/personality/drive. One trait above all seems to rule out everything else. I’m attracted to clarity….
Read MoreWhy Porn Is Cheating, But Sex With A Side Piece Isn't
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Fallacious title, but go with me for a moment. What does it mean to ‘cheat’ on your partner? Can you actually define where that line is, or is there some ambiguous knowing that will occur that will somehow inform you when it happens?
Let me ask you some questions….
Read MoreStop Kink Shaming Yourself - Your Kinks Are Valid. Yes, Even ‘That’ Kink..
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There are certain activities that get me going. Certain situations, objects, places, and parts that really take sex to the next level. Don’t get me wrong, vanilla ice-cream is tasty, but sometimes I need to add some sprinkles and hot fudge sauce to enjoy my banana split sundae…
Read MoreStop Worrying Because It Won't Matter In Five Years Anyway
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It is easy to get caught up in the emotion of the moment and then to overstate its importance.
Take being cut off in traffic as an example. The feelings of anger and self-righteousness can linger for hours. For some people, a minor incident can even lead to outbursts of yelling, hitting, swearing, anger, and even physical conflict…
Read MoreI Am A Survivor Slut – On Trauma and Hyper Sexuality
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There is a direct connection between my mental state and arousal. When triggered, I go one of two ways; meltdown or hyper sexuality…
Read MoreWhy I Stopped Watching Porn
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“I don’t watch porn, that shit rots your brain.”
These words were casually said to me by a friend of mine. We were discussing different ways that we ‘Guard Our Mental State’. Basically talking about mental health and the things that we do to ensure that we stay in a stable place …
Jealous and Polyamorous – Your Feelings Are Valid, & What To Do About Them!
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To be clear, whatever you are feeling is valid, normal, and likely has been felt by many other people in your situation. Regardless of if you are new to the ethical non monogamous (ENM) space or a veteran, emotions can, and should continue to, arise.
But should you do with those emotions? Particularly the ones that are ‘bad’?
Read MoreWhat Is On Your Mental Health Checklist?
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When the symptoms of a mental affliction begin to arise, it is important to take action to address the problem as soon as possible. This way the severity, duration and impact of the affliction will be minimised. Unfortunately given the nature of mental illness, it is often very difficult, if not impossible to even realise that action is needed, or to develop the motivation to do so….
Read MoreWhy Multi-Tasking Is A Toxic Lie
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Multi-tasking simply doesn’t work. Not for you, not for me, not for anyone.
Although it may feel like you can do more than one thing at a time, you actually can’t – at least not well. In reality you are doing two things poorly, and often taking longer to do them compared to if you did them one after another…
Read MoreYes, Even You Are Allowed To Relax
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You are allowed to relax.
It is okay to look after yourself, and you should be occasionally spoiling yourself. Rest, recover and heal. Self-care is a vital component to ‘Defeating Depression’ as well as preventing all forms of mental affliction. Yet self-care is often overlooked, discounted or put so low on the priority list that it never gets done.
I know I am guilty of this…
Read MoreWhy Reading Fiction Daily Is A Mental Health Must
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Reading is a healthy form of escapism. If you find a good book, or better yet an author that you connect with, you will have a tool to escape your current situation and draw you into a new one. This allows you to put aside your current woes, stressors and issues, to instead immerse yourself into a new world. True, this world may have challenges of its own, but from the vantage point of the reader, you get to safely experience another life…
Read MoreClarifying Common Myths & Misconceptions of Mindfulness Meditation
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Before we progress into the advanced practice component of this book, it is important to address some common myths and misconceptions about mindfulness. Below you will find some of the questions, beliefs and concerns people have prior to starting a mindfulness practice, as well as some of the things they wished they knew earlier on….
Read MoreWhy You Should Be Exercising Daily
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The mind and body are completely interconnected. If something is wrong in the body, the mind may be the first place to show it. Irritability can be caused by tiredness or feeling cold. Headaches and mental tension can often be cured by hydration. Heightened anxiety levels can be significantly reduced by eating. The symptoms of depression are very similar to those of overtraining.
Read MoreTaking Meditation Into Your Day
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‘‘‘To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.’ – Lao Tzu
One of the goals of our meditation practice is to bring the mindfulness state off the meditation mat and into our everyday lives. Just as we lift weights in the gym to be strong in daily life, we meditate formally so we can be mindful in daily life. But there need not be a distinction between the end of a formal session and the rest of our day. Indeed, with practice we will be increasingly able to become mindful at any time. First with small glimpses, and then over longer periods of time…
Read MoreHow To Know If You Are Meditating Correctly
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‘‘We have only now, only this single eternal moment opening and unfolding before us, day and night.’ – Jack Kornfield
Knowing if you are meditating correctly is uniquely challenging. Unlike most other pursuits, it is completely internal, and the results are entirely subjective. You could watch two people sitting, one in deep meditation and the other lost in a daydream, and not be able to tell who was doing what. In fact, the day dreamer may emerge from their sit appearing more refreshed and relaxed than when they began, whereas the meditator may appear exhausted….
Read MoreDepressed? Do A Status Check.
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The mind and body are completely interconnected. If something is wrong in the body, the mind may be the first place to show it. Irritability can be caused by tiredness or feeling cold. Headaches and mental tension can often be cured by hydration. Heightened anxiety levels can be significantly reduced by eating. The symptoms of depression are very similar to those of overtraining.
Read MoreCan Art Ever Be 'Pure'?
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Art can almost never be pure.
I would like to remove the word ‘never’ from the above sentence, but I loathe to make definitive statements. There may be an exception to the rule that I haven’t explored and will never be exposed to. But as it stands, I am not convinced.
It comes down to intention.
Read MoreIntroducing, ‘Bound to the Wings of a Butterfly’
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Bound to the Wings of a Butterfly is a collection of poetry, written as an act of writing therapy. It is about healing, recovery, and self-acceptance. About the journey of discovery that comes with true internal healing, and about transforming our lives, towards positivity, beauty, and love…
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